I'm not keeping up with my end of the deal....

But neither are you. And by "you" I mean everyone...because I have no readers. None. So this is basically my journal-just on line.

Anyway, a friend of mine said to me the other day that you have to have faith. That faith is underestimated and that God has a hand in everything we do-every part of our lives and just because people can't see him doesn't mean he's not real. I get that. She's very religious. I'm not super religious, but I definitely have faith. And I definitely pray.

Lately, I've been praying to try to get my way. The thing I pray for most is a new job. It's sad that I have to practically beg God for a new job, but I have been.

Here's what it sounds like when I pray:

"Dear God-Hi.....it's me again. I'm trying to get better at this praying everyday thing. I forget sometimes. I'm not perfect, but you know that *uncomfortable chuckle*......anyway....I told you that I was gonna bug you constantly until I got a new job, so here I am...as promised. Look...things are getting worse at work by the day. Evil has taken a new form in (insert name here) and things are going downhill fast. I can't work there anymore. I can't. I won't. Please don't make me. I apply for new jobs every other day. I apply for everything that I can..and there's not a lot out there right now. I think my resume is pretty good and I haven't even so much as gotten a phone call. That's bullshit. I'm sorry....I mean, that's not fair. I'm a good person....and I don't deserve this. I'm not asking for something huge here. In fact, if I were to get a new job, that would mean that my job would open up, thus creating a new position, that pays well-for someone else. So really, it's like recycling. Anyway, like I say every other time, please do whatever you can to guide me in the right direction. Please? Make my resume stand out to someone-anyone. Have them call me and set up an interview so that I at least have a chance to make an impression on them. Please? I'm begging you-you gotta help me out. Thanks for listening....."

That's pretty much the gist of it. Now, I'm not trying to be funny here. I'm just trying to get my point across. I'm praying-just like I have been advised to do. And I don't think that what I'm asking for is too much....so the least the universe could do is throw me a FREAKIN' bone. I NEED to hear something this week. Time is running out before extra shitty things start happening at work. Oh man.....I can feel the headaches/sickness/etc. on a daily basis coming back. The stress so bad that I sink into depression and have no will and no drive to do anything. I can't believe this shit is going to happen again. WTF???? If anyone else read my blog, I would ask them to pray too. Pray hard that I can at the very least be given an opportunity to have an interview somewhere. My resume can't suck that bad.